


Purple Haze....After The Haze Has Cleared.

by lizibabes



Series: Angst Bingo [5]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Alcohol, Drug Use, M/M, Sex, Swearing, consensual sex mistaken as non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-08
Updated: 2012-01-08
Packaged: 2017-10-29 04:13:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/315683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizibabes/pseuds/lizibabes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for the prompt secret on angst bingo, prompt #64.floor for lover100 and lust for 10_hurt_comfort. Tommy has a secret and it's killing him to keep it. He slept with Adam in Amsterdam, but Adam acts like nothing happened off stage, can he really have forgotten hot and filthy sex? Tommy can't forget, aches with needing him inside again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Purple Haze....After The Haze Has Cleared.

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: I_glitterz  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters in this story and as far as I’m aware this never happened.  
> Lots of angst and lots of porn.

Tommy POV  
　  
Amsterdam was amazing, the place, the hotel, everything. The crowd had been so full of energy and they all fed off it, especially Adam. Purple haze, the weed, Tommy was high, a little drunk, the whole time he was on stage and drunk on lust by the time Adam was done with him. Tommy had got hard on stage before, but he thinks the show in Amsterdam was the first time Adam noticed. He'd looked surprised and delighted. Backstage after the show, there was more booze and more weed. The smoke curled in his lungs, Purple Haze and Whole Lotta Love playing on a loop in his head, the sound track to all the kisses he kept remembering over and over. Adam had sat on the couch and had pulled Tommy down into his lap, wouldn't let him up when he tried to go anywhere, the hard length of his cock had been pressing firmly into Tommy's ass. People had brought over booze for both of them and joints for them to smoke. Adam had shared the smoke, shot gunning right in front of all of the band and the dancers. Nobody had said anything; they had all been just as drunk and high as Tommy and Adam were.  
　  
He'd had to make Adam let go eventually, he'd really needed to pee. So he'd got loose and found one of the venues dressing rooms, going in to use the tiny toilet they had crammed into the corner. It had felt like pissing in a closet, he'd walked out to find Adam standing in the dressing room, he hadn't even heard the door open, still doesn't know if anyone saw Adam follow him. Adam had walked right up to him and kissed him, it had been filthy and wet. Adam tasted like pot smoke and lust; Tommy hadn't even thought about saying no.  
　  
He didn't say no to making out, to Adam's hands under his stage clothes or to Adam taking off his stage clothes. In fact, he kept saying yes, was still saying yes when he landed with a thud on his back on the dressing room floor, Adam on top of him. He doesn't admit it to anyone but himself, but he'd imagine what sex with Adam would be like, what it would feel like to submit to Adam, to have his first time be with someone he trusts more than anyone else in his life. He hadn't imagined it happening on the floor of a dressing room, but Adam didn't need romance to make it good. He'd had Tommy begging for things he hadn't even known he's wanted. It was a little rough, both of them too caught up in lust for slow or soft. He doesn't know what Adam found to use as lube, just that he found something slick to coat his fingers with.  
　  
Tommy had been face down on the floor, Adam's fingers inside of him, and Adam's hand on his hip. He remembers his orgasm hitting while Adam was prepping him, he'd been hard since before the show and Adam wouldn't stop nailing his prostate. He'd begged Adam to fuck him anyway, not knowing if Adam had noticed him coming or not. It still felt good, Adam sinking in slow, but then thrusting hard like he was trying to fuck Tommy through the floor. When it was over Adam had kissed him, he'd tasted like lust and Tommy only wanted more.  
　  
Going back to the hotel is a blur, but he woke up in his and Isaac's room, dressed in pyjamas. His head is throbbing and then he moves and he feels a deep down ache in his ass. And as if that isn't a reminder enough, when he looks down his pyjama pants are hanging low enough for him to see the finger shaped bruises. He finally did it, finally got the courage up to do more than kiss Adam. He's not sure why he didn't go back with Adam to his room after the show for round two. He drags himself to the bathroom, pisses and steps in the shower, washing sticky and painful skin. He has carpet burn in some interesting places and more than a few bruises and he can't help smiling, a part of him very much pleased that Adam marked him up. He can't wait to do it again.  
　  
He's on cloud nine, but it doesn't last. Adam doesn't come down to breakfast and he avoids Tommy. Doesn't answer his calls. Isaac asks what is going on when Tommy's mood suddenly shifts. Tommy doesn't know what to tell him, it feels like sleeping with Adam, getting fucked by him on a floor should be a secret, seen as Adam doesn't seem to be letting on. No he's hiding from Tommy, that doesn't seem like the behaviour of someone who wants the world to know they fucked or even that they’re friends. So Tommy keeps his mouth shut. Clearly last night was just about the lust amped up by the drugs. Adam doesn't do casual, doesn't really hook up. He's probably thinking of Tommy as a mistake.  
　  
When Adam doesn't join them for dinner either, Tommy gets his cell out and decides to text Adam, he feels cheap and used, confused and angry. Adam started this, he kissed him, he followed Tommy to the dressing room, got Tommy on the floor and fucked him. If he doesn't want more than that, he should damn well say something. He hates feeling like Adam's dirty little secret, like he was someone to lust over when he was straight, but now they've been together Adam doesn't want anything from him, it's fucked up.  
　  
 _*Fine, just stay the fuck away from me then.* _  
  
Short and anything but sweet, he hits send before he can chicken out. Adam doesn't respond to that text either, but then Tommy hadn't really expected him to. Isaac asks him why he's so quiet and Tommy wants to tell him, blurt it all out about the floor, the sex, the lust he feels for Adam; he fucking hates keeping secrets. But he doesn't tell, doesn't even know how to tell Isaac that Adam used him like a sex toy, something to take the edge off the lust after a show, but nothing more. He'd thought about sex with Adam before it happened, but he had never thought of this outcome, never even considered it as a possibility. He has never felt used after sex before, even when it was just a hook up. He tells Isaac he's just hungover, so many of them are that no one calls bullshit on his lie.  
　  
He gets on the band with the bus in the morning, instead of following the dancers to Adam's bus the way he has been the past few weeks. He goes to his bunk, says he needs to sleep and no one questions it. He stays wide awake staring at the bunk ceiling wondering how things could go so wrong, had he really misjudged Adam that much?  
　  
The next time he sees Adam is at sound check, he looks like he has the hangover from hell. He isn't pissy with it though, but he is quiet, really quiet. He looks at the floor whenever Tommy is around. Tommy wonders if he's thinking about a different floor, one that left carpet burn on Tommy's arms and legs. Or maybe he just doesn't want to look at Tommy now that the lust has run out. Tommy wonders if the sex was bad for Adam, maybe he's decided lusting after the straight guy is stupid, decided he wants someone who's been with a man more than once, not a clueless virgin like Tommy, well he's not any kind of virgin anymore, but he still doesn't know if he made it good. Maybe he was a shit lay, he did kind of let Adam do all the work.   
　  
Doubting himself isn't fun and all he wants to do is hide, so until it's almost time to go on, he does. He finds a quiet spot away from the band and dancers, he sits, knees to his chest and tries to think of anything but Adam, eyes lust blown, pushing Tommy to the floor so he can fuck Tommy's brains out. So of course he can't think of anything else but the secret he is keeping.  
　  
The show is good, he gets lost in the music, Adam doesn't come near him during any of the songs, not even Fever and when Adam does band intro's he doesn't even look at Tommy. He signs for the fans, smiles, but inside he feels like he is breaking. After a few days of travelling and another kissless show, Adam actually starts looking at him again. A month passes without any mention of what happened. The secret weighs on Tommy, dragging him down. He stops sleeping properly, insomnia suddenly bad again and he doesn't know what to do. He feels like he's lost his best friend. He had thought Adam ignoring him was the worst feeling in the world, but he was wrong. It feels worse when he has to be around Adam all the time, with Adam just acting normal, like there was no lust and weed induced fuck on a dressing room floor. Sometimes Tommy thinks he must have dreamed up his secret, but he knows he didn't. He had bruises from Adam's hands, had felt the ghost of Adam's hands for weeks afterwards and he just can't understand.  
　  
And then after another show where Adam doesn't kiss him, Tommy loses it. Once they’re in the hotel for the night, he storms up to Adam's room. He hasn't spoken a word about their secret and it is eating away at him. Adam already knows, so Adam can fucking listen. Adam looks surprised to see him when he opens the door. Tommy doesn't bother to explain, he just pushes his way inside.   
　  
"Why are you doing this to me?" Tommy blurts out the second the door gets shut behind him. He turns to face Adam, who's standing with his back facing the wall, not getting any closer to Tommy.   
　  
"I don't know what you mean." Adam frowns.  
　  
He is so sick of keeping things secret, acting like it never happened, it's fucked up and it's fucking with his head.  
　  
"Don't pretend you haven't acted differently since Amsterdam." Tommy growls. God, Adam's acting like he doesn't even get what Tommy's on about, like Tommy's the only one in on their little secret.  
　  
"Your text said you wanted me to stay away from you." Adam mumbles.  
　  
"After you ignored every other text I sent you. So don't act like this is about giving me space." Tommy snaps.  
　  
"I took things too far on stage and then I had some really weird dreams. I was sleeping it off between freaking out. I wasn't ignoring you and then you text that and started staying on the band bus, so I kept my distance." Adam sighs, he looks worn out. Tommy knows the feeling.  
　  
"Weird dreams?" Tommy repeats, he's been getting the cold shoulder over dreams?  
　  
"Don't make me say it, Tommy. The high from the stage, the booze. I can't remember half the night. But I guess the lust and the weed messed with my head and I had a fucked up dream." Adam's blushing, bright red and Tommy, yeah, he's totally fucking lost.  
　  
"Just tell me, Adam." It's not like things can get any more awkward than they have been lately.  
　  
"I, there's only bits I can remember. In the dream, I pinned you to the floor. I think I was raping you or you just didn't like it, because you weren't even hard and after, there were these bruises on your hips. It freaked me out. It's one thing for me to lust over you, but to dream about hurting you like that? God it's sick, I'm sick." Adam looks like he's about to cry and Tommy can't seem to do anything but stare at him, wide eyed and open mouthed, more shocked than he has ever been. "I promise I would never hurt you like that, I wouldn't hurt anyone like that. I'm so sorry, but it's not like I wanted to dream it." Adam rambles on.  
　  
"It wasn't a dream." Tommy blurts, because his brain is spinning. He's not Adam's dirty little secret? Adam thinks it was all a dream.  
　  
"Not a dream." Adam goes so pale Tommy thinks he's about to either faint or be sick. Suddenly he realises what it sounds like he's saying.  
　  
"You didn't rape me, Adam." Tommy says firmly, the look of relief on Adam's face makes his chest ache, he knows hurting someone that way would kill Adam. He's almost giddy he's so glad that their night together wasn't a lust induced mistake that Adam wants to keep secret. Adam thinks it never happened, has the facts all messed up.  
　  
"I, what, I don't understand?" Adam looks so confused it's almost adorable, but the fact Adam has probably been twisting himself into knots in secret is not.  
　  
"You kissed me off stage. I sat in your lap. I went to piss and you followed. Do you remember any of that?" Tommy asks.  
　  
"Vaguely." Adam sighs.  
　  
"Well we fucked on the floor, the reason I wasn't hard was because I lost it on just your fingers, but I still wanted you to fuck me. The bruises? Were because it was a little rough, which is how I wanted it, how I begged for it." Tommy admits and it feels good to say it all aloud, even if it is only to someone he thought already knew.  
　  
"We fucked?" Adam looks shocked.  
　  
"Yeah, it was awesome, kind of thought you didn't want anything to do with me after you started avoiding me." Tommy shrugs, looking at his feet, at the floor, anywhere but Adam, he is embarrassed as fuck about this.  
　  
"Of all the nights to get black out drunk, my body picks the day I finally got to fuck you? Ummm, so we really fucked on the floor of a venue dressing room?" Adam asks.  
　  
"Yeah, we did, I had the rug burn to prove it." Tommy says softly.  
　  
"Was it a lust thing? Or a weed thing? Was it more than that?" Adam sounds hesitant and maybe hopeful.  
　  
"It started out as lust and the weed helped me relax enough to go for it, but for me? Yeah it was more than that. I'm totally gone on you, ass over tit in love with you." Might as well keep right on telling the truth, no more secrets, not between them. Not talking to Adam about his secret has left him miserable and Adam thinking he dreams about raping him. No wonder Adam had stopped looking at him, stopped touching him, hadn't kissed him on stage since it happened.  
　  
"You love me?" Adam asks and Tommy doesn't think he's ever seen someone's face actually light up the way Adam’s has. He looks so happy, like he's been carrying around something dark and horrible and now it's gone.  
　  
"Yeah, I love you." Tommy nods and before he knows it, Adam isn't leaning against the wall anymore; he's right in Tommy's space, his arms around Tommy. Then he does some kind of fucking ninja move that has Tommy landing on his back, on the floor, again.  
　  
"What the fuck? Dude, do you have some kind of, like, floor fetish I should know about?" Tommy blurts out once he's got his breath back and can actually speak.   
　  
Adam doesn't answer, he just grins down at Tommy. He looks like he has never been happier. One of his big hands coming up to stroke Tommy's bangs back off his face. His touch is tender. Tommy had thought with the whole being thrown to the floor thing that he was in for another hard and fast fuck. Seems knocking him down had been more the move of an over grown puppy, just wanting to be close, to touch. Tommy's totally good with either situation, it has been so long since Adam touched him and now he has all of Adam pressed against him, warm and solid, and it feels more real than the first time he ended up on the floor with Adam. That had been clouded by lust and pot smoke running through both their veins, it was good, but he has a feeling it can be better.  
　  
"Can you forgive me for being an idiot? I freaked out and I upset you, I'm so sorry for that. Can you forgive me, Tommy Joe?" Adam asks. He looks a lot like a kicked puppy.  
　  
"Only if you blow me." Tommy quips, but before he knows it, huge warm hands are pawing at his belt as Adam crawls down his body to get between his legs.  
　  
"I was joking! Ohhh fuck." Tommy groans as Adam gets his dick out and takes it straight down. He was joking, wanted to see Adam smile again, but this is no joke. Adam's mouth, it's just fuck! Tommy doesn't think he's ever felt something so hot, so perfect.  
　  
"You don't have to do this, I forgive you anyway." Tommy forces out, his whole body is hot, slick with sweat, he's turned on and is getting the best blowjob of his life. But he doesn't want Adam to do it just because he feels the need to make shit up to Tommy. He's trying to act like a good boyfriend here, kind of because he really wants to be Adam's boyfriend.  
　  
Adam pulls off, but doesn't sit up, looking up Tommy's body and meeting his eyes.  
　  
"I knew you were joking, but blowing you seemed like a really good idea." Adam shrugs, his breath brushing over Tommy's slick, throbbing dick, making him shiver.  
　  
"Okay then, you should like totally get back to that then, sorry for interrupting." Tommy babbles. He blames Adam if he isn't coherent enough, seen as it's Adam who has made lust turn his brain into mush.  
　  
"I love you too, by the way, just thought I should let you in on the secret that everyone else on the tour seemed to know but you." Adam smirks.  
　  
Tommy doesn't give a fuck that all the others knew and didn't tell him. Adam loves him back, and he can't keep the grin off of his face.  
　  
Adam pins his hips down and goes back to work, humming around Tommy's dick in a way that makes him sound like he's really enjoying himself and sends vibrations down Tommy's cock, making him moan; he'd be bucking his hips up if he could. Adam's fucking strong and that turns him on more than he ever thought it could.  
　  
"Maybe we should move to the bed?" Tommy suggests half hearted, the floor must be hurting Adam's knees, but Tommy is feeling anything but pain from being under Adam.  
　  
"Later." Adam says, his voice all deep and dark, really turned on and it makes Tommy feel like his bones have fucking melted.  
　  
"Floor kink." Tommy declares. If the words are a little slurred, fuck it. Adam is blowing him on the floor of his hotel room, it cannot get hotter than that. Lust and his dick are in charge right now and they’re happy for him to stay on the floor; Tommy can't really argue. He is wrong about one thing though, it can get hotter and it does. Adam lifts a hand off of Tommy's hip, gives him the fingers to suck on and Tommy does, he's so on board with what is happening. He sucks hard, hollowing his cheeks, flicking his tongue over Adam's fingers the way Adam is flicking his tongue over Tommy's dick. It makes Adam growl, which should be ridiculous not hot, but it turns out coming from Adam, it's ridiculously hot.  
　  
Adam pulls his fingers out of Tommy's mouth with a wet pop and there is one wet finger trailing around his hole, applying the slightest of pressure as Adam fucking deep throats. Tommy can't help it, but he's moaning his Goddamn head off, thrashing on the floor as lust burns hot in his veins and Adam takes him apart with his fingers and his mouth. Tommy starts chanting Adam's name before he even has the first finger all the way in, by the time he's stretched on two pads of Adam's fingers rubbing at his prostate, he is a mess. He makes a grab for Adam's head when he feels his balls draw up, trying to warn Adam, but Adam either doesn't notice or doesn't care because his lips are wrapped around the head of Tommy's cock when his orgasm hits, making him see fucking stars. Adam swallows and then licks him clean, his tongue moving lightly over his sensitive dick. It has to be the filthiest and the hottest thing he has ever seen. It makes him want to kiss Adam, so he tugs and pulls until he can get his mouth on Adam.  
　  
Adam lets him lick inside, lets him taste himself. He's kissed girls after they went down on him before, but it never felt like this before, intimate in a way that goes beyond just the sex. He kisses Adam till his lips hurts, till he can hardly breathe and then he kisses him some more. Before he realises two things, they are still on the floor and Adam is still hard against his hip. He plans to change at least one of those things in the next few minutes. He rolls them so that Adam is the one with his back on the floor and takes up a similar position to the one Adam had been in when he was blowing Tommy. Adam looks down at him with lust blown eyes and it spurs Tommy on. He leans forward, mouthing Adam's cock threw the denim of his jeans, till the material is wet and clinging and Adam is pleading for more.  
　  
"Please Tommy, baby please, stop teasing." Adam groans and Tommy takes pity on him, unzipping Adam's jeans and pealing the denim down over his hips, Adam lifting a little to help him. He looks up at Adam and smiles, he feels like he's sharing a secret with Adam somehow, like he's sharing a part of him that not even he knew existed with Adam.  
　  
They don't make it off the floor until sometime after it's already started getting light. They’re both achy and stiff from fooling around on the floor. But it was worth it, even if it hadn't been incredible, which it was, it would be worth it to see the naked lust in Adam's eyes every time he looks at Tommy. With the way they are both walking at breakfast the next morning, Tommy doubts what went down the night before will stay secret for long. He doesn't care, fuck secrets and the misunderstandings that come along with only knowing half the story. If someone asks if they are together, he won't lie, he might not share all the details, there are some people who just don't ever need to know that Tommy let Adam fuck him on the floor... Twice.  
　  
The End.__


End file.
